Twelfth Doctor Audition Script

This is the audition script for the Twelfth Doctor. I just can’t imagine anyone but Matt saying this!

Inside the TARDIS. The Doctor checks out the new body while Clara watches. It’s only been a few minutes, so they’re both still adjusting.


Doctor: Right then, eyesight. Not bad, bit blue. Ears – not pointy, right way up, more or less level. Face – well, I’ve got one. Oh no! French!

Clara: French?

Doctor: I’ve deleted French! Plus all cookery skills, and the breast stroke. And hopping. Never mind hopping, who needs to hop. Ohhh, the kidneys are interesting. Never had that before – interesting kidneys.

Clara: Are you all right?

Doctor: I don’t know, do I look all right?

Clara: I don’t know.

Doctor: How’s the face? Seems all right from the inside. Nice action, responsive. Bit less heft on the chin. How is it?

Clara: It’s . . . okay.

Doctor: Okay?

Clara: It’s a bit . . . you know.

Doctor: No I don’t, I haven’t seen it yet.

Clara: Maybe it’s just new.

Doctor: Have you changed height?

Clara: No.

Doctor: You sure?

Clara: It’s you, your height, you’re the one that’s changed.

Doctor: And look at your nose.

Clara: What about my nose?

Doctor: It was really cute, I loved your nose, you should have kept it.

Clara: I did, it’s the same nose, it’s the same all of me. You’re the one who’s . . . regenerated, whatever you call it.

Doctor: Are you wearing a smell?

Clara: Do you mean perfume?

Doctor: Yeas, I suppose it could be perfume.

Clara: You’ve always liked that perfume, you said so.

Doctor: No I didn’t. That was the Doctor.

Clara: You’re the Doctor.

Doctor: Yeah, I suppose I am. That’s going to take a bit of getting used to.

Clara: Yeah, it really is.



The Alpacacapaldi

Peter Capaldi, a relatively unknown actor before, but elevated to idol status now through his recent casting as the twelfth incarnation of everyone’s favorite Doctor. I know a lot of you are saying that he’s too old, and I’ll admit, it is a big jump from Matt Smith’s 30 year old body, to the body of a 55 year old. But think of it this way, the Doctor is supposedly 1200, I mean if he’s that old and looks 55, I’d like to know his secret!

The announcement was made August 4, which was only three days ago. Already the internet is overflowing with Twelfth Doctor fanart, but one of the weirdest things I’ve seen yet is the Alpacacapaldi. Yes, you heard me right. This strange creature has the body of an fluffy quadruped, and Peter Capaldi’s face plastered on it, creating a rather grotesque-looking……,thing. See below.

Also might I add, still not ginger! I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that I think Peter will make an excellent Doctor, if not quite the one we were all hoping for. Of course, I am a bit of an optimist.

Crazy, but true.


The Whovians have been threatening to break Tumblr for a while now, well, we didn’t. We did however, break Wikipedia…

And that’s the Internet buzz on Peter Alpacacapaldi.