This is the audition script for the Twelfth Doctor. I just can’t imagine anyone but Matt saying this!
Inside the TARDIS. The Doctor checks out the new body while Clara watches. It’s only been a few minutes, so they’re both still adjusting.
Doctor: Right then, eyesight. Not bad, bit blue. Ears – not pointy, right way up, more or less level. Face – well, I’ve got one. Oh no! French!
Doctor: I’ve deleted French! Plus all cookery skills, and the breast stroke. And hopping. Never mind hopping, who needs to hop. Ohhh, the kidneys are interesting. Never had that before – interesting kidneys.
Clara: Are you all right?
Doctor: I don’t know, do I look all right?
Clara: I don’t know.
Doctor: How’s the face? Seems all right from the inside. Nice action, responsive. Bit less heft on the chin. How is it?
Clara: It’s . . . okay.
Clara: It’s a bit . . . you know.
Doctor: No I don’t, I haven’t seen it yet.
Clara: Maybe it’s just new.
Doctor: Have you changed height?
Doctor: You sure?
Clara: It’s you, your height, you’re the one that’s changed.
Doctor: And look at your nose.
Clara: What about my nose?
Doctor: It was really cute, I loved your nose, you should have kept it.
Clara: I did, it’s the same nose, it’s the same all of me. You’re the one who’s . . . regenerated, whatever you call it.
Doctor: Are you wearing a smell?
Clara: Do you mean perfume?
Doctor: Yeas, I suppose it could be perfume.
Clara: You’ve always liked that perfume, you said so.
Doctor: No I didn’t. That was the Doctor.
Clara: You’re the Doctor.
Doctor: Yeah, I suppose I am. That’s going to take a bit of getting used to.
Clara: Yeah, it really is.